Conservatives say, "Fred Thompson is just like Ronald Reagan!"
The conventional wisdom says, " Yup, Fred Thompson is just like Ronald Reagan ....Without ideas, charisma, passion, experience, hair, sense of humor, political savvy or an age appropriate wife."
Republicans need to get over their Reagan nostalgia.
Ronald Reagan was a man of his times and he was a great president for 1956 when everyone drove an Edsel or a Studebaker and our biggest worries were Negroes, commies and non-conformists moving into the neighborhood and destroying the property values. Those were the days! Everyone wore a raccoon coat and said "23 Skidoo."
Those good old days when everyone used their assigned drinking fountains and restrooms. They were simpler times and America needed a simpler man who knew how to lift our spirits with a real knee-slappin' joke about a dumb Polish guy or an uppity Negro. Everyone was separate, but everyone was slso equal, and nobody knew that better than Ronald Reagan.
Ronald Reagan was the show biz president who'd gently reassure with his wry observations about the human condition, or his senile recollections playing the original Count Dracula. When all else failed, Ronnie would win our hearts and minds with his latest lariat trick.
During Big War we'd all gather around our gigantic General Electric radios which were larger than the icebox and listen to Ronnie's reassuring fire-chats When Ronnie told us things like "I own this microphone", he put those young ultra-liberal whippersnappers like Ed Muskie and Wilbur Mills in their place.
We can never go back to those days when government was so small the only White House employees were Ronnie and Nancy.
Remember those days? Nobody had to pay taxes because we paid for government by saving up lots of Green Stamps we got at the A & P super market. Government was so small you could fit it in a toilet.
It was the Age of Innocence for America, before Catholic priests got overly interested altar boys and before left-wing bongo playing beatniks took over everything. Now the nation is controlled by a bunch of hoodlums and juvenile delinquents driving souped-up hot rods and threatening everyone with switchblades, brass knuckles and zip guns. Even the Boy Scouts have come out of the closet! It's an outrage.
Men won't even wear a decent gray flannel suit with a fedora when they go outside of the house, anymore. Men forget to go to the barber and their unruly hair touches the collar of their shirt and grows over their ears. Some men grow sideburns and moustaches and even wear polo shirts to work!
All the women look like brazen little hussies strutting around in provocative low cut dinner gowns, pedal pushers, and driving men to primal acts of lust by flaunting their thighs in revealing Bermuda shorts! Those morally depraved women all hang around Communist run coffee houses,wearing sexually provocative leotards and looking for reefer parties. They even engage in casual sex with their fiancée because they like having sex! How can anyone enjoy sex?... much less unreproductive sex outside the sacred bond of matrimony? Ronald and Nancy Reagan showed us how to have a perfectly good marriage without having to go through the ordeal and trauma of sex.
Ronald Reagan cleaned up entertainment and we finally got to enjoy good clean talented entertainers like Perry Como, Art Linkletter and Gabby Hayes. The ultra liberals were out promoting the careers of dangerous Negro entertainers like Howlin' Wolf, Harry Belafonte, Nat King Cole and Screaming Jay Hawkins.
Fred Thompson can't save America. There's only one man who has the guts to take the bull by the horns and stop the disintegration of the social order under the influence of leftist bongo playing beatniks. That man is Spiro Agnew! Spiro Agnew is just like Ronald Reagan!
Ummmm... There's only one hitch. Spiro Agnew is dead. Somebody get Ted Nugent on the phone, he's got good hair, kills bunnies with assault rifles and has lots of charisma. He'll make that Hillary Clinton look like a girly man.